Slag Blackhammer

Slag Blackhammer sat back in his favorite chair, and took a long draw of ale. "So ye want ta 'ear o my younger days.... Aye I'll tell ye scruffs. So get yer selves a sit and pay me some attention." The old battle cleric leaned forward, "Were sould I start...." he said stroking his beard . "Ahhh I know."

The door of the Gold Dragon opened to the cold January wind. The dim inn's patrons all turned to see a dwarf stride in and slam the door shut. "Ale, 'nd stew!" the dwarf bellowed as he leaned his heavy axe on the closest table to the fireplace. He sat so that he could keep an eye on all the inn and crossed his arms. As the servent placed a large mug and bowl in front of him the dwarf studied his fellow travelers. He counted ten in all, eight of which he could tell were human, but two in the corner had high cloaks with hood on to hid their faces. He snorted "Elves, it must be those long eared vermin!" he muttered under his breath. He grabbed the ale and took a long slug. "ahhh this is the best ale I've ad in years " He said to himself with approval on his face. As he set the mug back down the door opened once more, and with it a gnome practically flew in with it. The gnome got his footing and with all his might slowly got the door to shut against the wind. The dwarf scowled "horses arse" he muttered to himself. The gnome looked around and spotted the dwarf. "Ohh by Clanggedin's beard not me! " The dwarf exclamed loud enough for the cloaked figures to lift their heads. The gnome didn't hear though and he strode right to the dwarf's table. He dropped his pack and opened the flap. As the dwarf glowered at him the gnome pulled out a small ale keg and plunked it down on the table. He grabbed a chair and jumped up on it. "I'm gonna empty this acursed thing tonight if it's the last thing I do!" he said in a loud voice as he drew a mug from his coat pocket, and filled it from his keg. The dwarf just sat and stared at him as he downed mug after mug of ale.

After four or five full mugs the dwarf began to wonder why the small keg wasn't empty yet, but he said nothing, after all he didn't even know this creatures name! After his own sixth mug of ale, the gnome was on his eighth and all from the tiny keg. The ale must have finally loosened the dwarf's tounge because he finall asked "Ow is it yer keg ain't empty yet?"

"Ohh sorry I didn't esplain, it'sh a keg of holding. I don't know how much it holdsh because I'fe never been able to empty it in one night, an it refills itshelf every morning. The blasted thing has turned me into a drunkard." the gnome exclaimed with a drunken slurr. He put his hand out "My name ish Beer, you know like the drink."

The dwarf thought about it for a second and shook the gnome's hand "Hellow Beer my name is Slag, ye know as in the usless material that floats to the top o molten metal." The gnome looked perplexed for a second then erupted into uncontrollable laughter. He started rolling on the floor laughing the hole time.
Slag looked at him with a scowl, then a smile slowly spred accross his face. He then began to laugh himself, all the people in the inn looked around at the pair, but they didn't notice. Slag came around the table and picked the small gnome up. They walked togeather back to the table and sat down once more. "Now let us see if we can't empty yer accursed barrel!" Slag said as he opened the tap and filled his mug.

Six more rounds later the two of them were siging old battle songs, and laughing as if they were old war buddies. Then scream from outside stopped them dead. Beer fell off his chair reaching for his sword, but Slag suddenly seemed to be totally unaffected by the alcohol. He grabbed his axe in his right hand as he put his helm on with his left, and all as he ran to the door. The two cloaked figures were faster than him and got to the door first. The first one threw the door open and ran out on the boardwalk outside. Slag quickly followed at a trot. Beer staggered to the door in time to witness the cloaked figures and Slag in a fight with a very tall individual. Slag ran with axe high directly at the creature bellowing a battle cry. One of the cloaked elves threw back his hood and motioned with his hands chanting. Just before Slag reached the creature a lightning bolt shot from the elf mage's hand and struck the huge creature in the chest. It roared in pain and was distracted as Slag's battle axe sunk deep in it's chest. Blood poured out on Slag from the 10 foot tall individual. The creature reared back grabbing the dwarf dangling from the axe buried in it's chest. Then the vampire bared it's fangs and laughed. "Clanggedin protect me!" the dwarf cleric exclaimed and his holy symbol began to glow. The Vampire hissed and threw Slag from him. As he threw the dwarf the axe went with him, and Slag flew for 100 feet swearing all the way. He landed on a frozen pond, and came to his feet as soon as he got his bearings. He turned in time to see a 50 foot fire ball fly from the other elf mage's hands, and explode against the now empty inn. People were running in dissarray everywhere as the inn burned to the ground. Slag stopped for a second and prayed "Clanggedin bless me, and I will strike this abommination from the face of this relm" he raised his head and saw his axe was a glow with hold mana. The screaming populouse seemed to part for him as he reared back, and hefted his mighty dwarven battle axe though the air. Beer had join the fight by this time and was hacking at the giant vampire with his tiny short sword. The barrage of small blows drew the creatures sole attention to Beer. The vampire grabbed the gnome with lighting speed and smiled. The creatures fangs grew to full length and it prepared to end the drunk gnome's life. An arrow from one of the elves struck the vampire from behind. The vampire stood staight up and laughed still holding the frightened gnome, but at that moment Slag's axe found it's mark. The axe struck the giant at the neck. The head of the night beast fell to the ground. The lifeless body soon followed, and Beer scrambled away from the headless corpse. Slag fell to his knees in prayer, and Beer yelled some unintelligable battle cry. The elves slowly approched the dead vampire with swords in hand.

Slag coughed "I'm getting to old to even tell a simple story...." he coughed again. "I tire of this I ope ye scruffs learned somthin from yer ol gramps tonight, now leave me I'm tired!"